بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

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Etiquettes of Meeting a Person


1. When meeting a person, do so smilingly and pleasantly.

2. When meeting a person for the first time, introduce yourself by stating your name, the place in which you live and the purpose for your visit/meeting.

3. Do not meet a person at a time that will inconvenience him due to him being involved in some work, resting, etc.

4. Do not prolong the duration of the visit and inconvenience the person. Often, women visit other women at their homes and stay so long that the woman’s work is affected e.g. she is unable to cook and complete the other chores of the home. This naturally causes her difficulty and inconvenience.

5. Before visiting a person, always contact them and inform them that you wish to visit. When doing so, ask them as to which time is convenient for your visit.

6. If one was unable to inform the person of the visit in advance, then one should ensure that he keeps his visit brief, as the person visited was not expecting him.

7. Do not visit a person at mealtimes or prolong the visit until the time of the meal unless explicitly invited to join the meal. This puts the host through extreme difficulty as there is often insufficient food for the guests and insufficient time to prepare additional food.

8. If a time was specified for the visit and one unexpectedly becomes delayed, then one should immediately contact the person being visited and inform them of the delay.

9. When meeting a person, give them your complete, undivided attention. While in their presence, do not fidget with the phone, etc.

 

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بسم لله الرحمن الرحيم

Uswatulmuslimah.co.za | Role Models for the
Muslimah

Are YOU Blind?


Sayyidah Ummu Salamah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) narrates the following:

I was once in the blessed presence of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) while Maimoonah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was also present. While we were with Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), ‘Abdullah bin Ummi Maktoom (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) arrived, and this was after the law of Hijaab was revealed. When ‘Abdullah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) arrived, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) instructed us, “Adopt Hijaab from him.” We replied, “O Rasul of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)! Is he not a blind man who can neither see us nor recognize us?” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) responded, “Are the two of you blind? Can the two of you not see him?”(Sunan Abi Dawood #4112)

The blessed wives of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) were the purest of women, living in the purest of ages, in the purest of presences – the presence of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) – and the man who entered, over and above being blind, was a Sahaabi and thus from the purest of men. Despite the level of purity that prevailed, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) still instructed his respected wives to adopt hijaab in the presence of this Sahaabi, as there is more precaution in this.Hence, the commentators of hadeeth have explained that although it is permissible for a woman to look at a man (provided there is absolutely NO fear of fitnah and sin arising), piety and precaution still demands that she refrain from even this. (Mirqaat vol. 6, pg. 285)

When Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) commanded his respected wives to adopt hijaab and not look at this blind Sahaabi in the situation of pristine purity described above, we can well imagine the law that applies to us! After all, we are not only sinful, but live in an age and environment wherein we are perpetually bombarded by evil and lust. Thus, if an ‘Islamic’ event or conference is taking place, where male and female presenters are addressing a mixed crowd of males and females, non-mahram men and women are freely interacting, etc., we should ask ourselves, “How can they impart Deen and flagrantly violate and disregard the laws of Deen at the same time?” After all, it is absolutely impermissible for the men to be looking at the women – let alone freely interacting with them! – and it is equally impermissible for the women to interact with the men and sit with them.

Sa‘eed bin Musayyib (rahimahullah) was given the title ‘Leader of the Taabi‘een’ on account of his piety and knowledge. Despite this, even when he was eighty-four years old, blind in one eye and had very weak vision in the other, he exclaimed, “There is nothing (no trial) that I fear more than women!” (Mirqaat vol. 6, pg. 285) Hence, at no point did he ever sit with women saying ‘my heart is clean’ or ‘I have no feelings’.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Uswatulmuslimah.co.za | Role Models for the
Muslimah

Doggy Goat


Ask our children:

1. Can we keep a pet dog?

2. Do Muslims lie and steal?

Now tell them the story:

There was an old farmer who had a pet goat. He used to play with it, feed it and make it sleep in his room every night. One day, he decided to take his goat for a walk. As he left his home, three hungry crooks saw him with his goat. They made a plan to steal the goat and have a big braai.

The first crook came to the farmer and said, “Wow! What a big dog you have!” The farmer became angry and shouted, “You fool! Can’t you see that it’s a goat?” The crook said, “No! It’s a dog!” and he walked away.

After a while, the second crook came to the farmer and asked, “Where did you buy such a funny looking dog?” The farmer was now a little confused, so he looked at his goat and replied, “No! It’s my pet goat!” The crook said, “No! It’s a dog!” and he walked away.

After a while, the third crook came to the farmer and burst out laughing. The farmer asked him, “Why are you laughing? The crook replied, “This is the first time in my life that I am seeing a dog with two horns and a beard!” The farmer was now sure that his pet goat was actually a dog. So he thought to himself, “I definitely cannot keep this pet dog in my home, because the angels will not enter my home.”

So the simple farmer left the goat on the side of the road and returned home alone. The three greedy crooks quickly grabbed the goat and took it home for a yummy braai.

Lessons:

1. If we hear the same thing all the time, we will slowly start to believe it. May Allah Ta‘ala save us, if we are watching TV, TV, TV, all the time, and listening to music, music, music, all the time, playing with the tablet, tablet, tablet, all the time, reading comics or novels all the time, then these things are going to fill our minds and hearts and make us forget Allah Ta‘ala and Deen. Therefore, we need to change our life to salaah, salaah, salaah, Quraan, Quraan, Quraan, zikr, zikr, zikr and du‘aa, du‘aa, du‘aa, so that these things become our life.

2. Muslims should not keep dogs as pets.

3. Muslims should not lie and steal. 

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Uswatulmuslimah.co.za | Role Models for the
Muslimah

Nurturing the Relationship


There are few methods that express love as eloquently as speech. Hence, a newly-wed couple who have the misfortune of living apart for some time will often compensate for their separation by remaining glued to their phones, speaking to each other for hours on end. On the contrary, when two people have hatred and enmity for one another, they make it a point to avoid speaking to each other.

During the month of Ramadhaan, Muslims the world over remained glued to the Quraan Majeed, earnestly conversing with Allah Ta‘ala. The more they recited the Quraan Majeed, the more their love for Allah Ta‘ala grew and the closer to Him they became. However, how many of us have continued to converse with Allah Ta‘ala, through reciting the Quraan Majeed daily, as we used to in the month of Ramadhaan? Similarly, how many of us are still conversing with Allah Ta‘ala through the direct-line of du‘aa, as we used to during the month of Ramadhaan?

When a person has a close, bosom friend, and this friend suddenly gives him the cold shoulder, it greatly perturbs and hurts him as his beloved friend is now treating him as an enemy would. When we earnestly conversed with Allah Ta‘ala and did our best to gain His nearness in the month of Ramadhaan, then what message is sent out when after the month of Ramadhaan, we seldom recite the Quraan Majeed and rarely raise our hands in du‘aa? Are we showing Allah Ta‘ala a cold shoulder’ (may Allah forbid!)?

Just as we would not appreciate our near and dear ones suddenly abandoning us, we should not suddenly abandon our relationship with Allah Ta‘ala, who is the Most Beloved and Dear to us. Instead, if we strive to maintain our relationship with Allah Ta‘ala, our love and bond with Him will grow until the next Ramadhaan, during which it will be boosted and increase even further. In this manner, we will become closer and closer to Allah Ta‘ala until He eventually summons us from this world.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Knife Defence

By Salim Badat

The unfortunate fact is that anyone holding a knife has a tremendous advantage over you, assuming you are not armed with a weapon. But there are practical guidelines that can dramatically improve your chances of surviving a vicious knife attack.

Beware! Most of the information about knife defence is wrong and will get you seriously injured or possibly killed in a self defence altercation!

Knife Defence Street Survival Tips

What follows are several knife defence tips that are taught in my self defence system. It is my hope that these knife defence tips can help reduce your chances of being the victim.

BE AWARE OF KNIVES.

Street criminals can hide knives or edged weapons anywhere Situational awareness is one of the best tools you have to prevent a knife attack from taking place.”

KNOW WHY CRIMINALS PREFER KNIVES OVER OTHER WEAPONS.

Here are some reasons:

  • Knife attacks are silent.

  • Knives don’t misfire or jam.

  • Knives do not require reloading.

  • Knives are easier to conceal.

  • Knives are easy to dispose.

  • Knives are symbolic to psychopaths.

  • Knives leave no ballistic clues.

  • Courts tend to be more lenient with knives than guns.

  • Knives are inexpensive.

  • Makeshift knives are relatively easy to create.

  • Street criminals know that very few citizens possess knife defence skills and more importantly criminals know it is very difficult to defend against a knife attack.

TRY TO ESCAPE FROM A KNIFE ATTACK IF POSSIBLE.

If you have the possibility to run and escape during the course of a knife attack, do it immediately! Try to quickly scan your environment for possible escape routes. Don’t let your ego or pride trap you into believing that it’s cowardly to run from a knife attack.

CREATE DISTANCE BETWEEN YOU AND THE KNIFE ATTACKER.

When unarmed and defending against a knife attack, try to create as much distance as you can between you and the knife. Distance is a critical component of knife defence because it enhances your defensive reaction time and allows you to control your tactical options.

Keep in mind that the only time you want to be close to a knife is for disarming purposes and then only if this situation is absolutely unavoidable.

DON’T PANIC WHEN FACED WITH A KNIFE ATTACK.

People naturally freeze up when they are faced with a knife attack. This only makes it easier for your assailant to accomplish his nefarious mission. You must rise to the occasion and conjure all of spirit and courage to ward off the effects of fear, anxiety, and stress. You must be determined to fight your adversary to the death if necessary. The best way to prepare yourself for the psychological and emotional aspects of a knife attack is to regularly engage in realistic knife attack scenarios.”

RESPECT THE KNIFE.

The entertainment industry has done us a great disservice to the public by making everyone believe that a knife-wielding assailant can be neutralized easily with one swift kick, shoulder throw, or punch. It is not like that in the real world of self defence!

USE MAKESHIFT WEAPONS AGAINST THE KNIFE ATTACKER.. When confronted by a knife attacker, scan your environment for any makeshift weapon, especially for ones that can safely shield against stabs and slashes.

In Conclusion

Knife defence skills and techniques must always be practical, simple and effective! The academy is conducting a knife defence workshop on the 14 September. 2016

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Uswatulmuslimah.co.za | Role Models for the
Muslimah

Internet Abuse


Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

I was brought up not allowed to use the internet, watch TV, etc. However, I recently started a course which required the use of the internet. I try my best to only use it for the work required, but time and time again, I end up using it for other stuff. Though it’s not always haraam stuff that I use the internet for, it does waste time. Also, lots of times, I get caught up in watching YouTube videos and though I know it’s not right, I just seem unable to stop. No matter how many promises I make not to use it for anything other than course related work, in the end, I still do.

If Moulana could please advise on how to stop this as I am aware it’s wrong and want to stop, but no matter how much I try, I still get caught up in it. 

Answer:

Bismihi Ta‘ala

Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barkaatuh

Respected Sister in Islam

We commend you on your concern and honesty in this matter, which is unfortunately taken very lightly by most people.

It is best for you to totally avoid using the internet unless you have a genuine need to do so.  However, if this cannot be done, then take the following steps in order to bring incorrect use under control:

1. Instead of using the internet in a secluded place in the home, use it in a common place, where others may walk past and be able to see what you are doing. The fear of them seeing you misusing the internet will perhaps be a type of a deterrent.

2. Impose a “penalty” upon yourself for the wrong usage. For example, for every 5 minutes wrong usage, impose upon yourself to make 4 rakaats of nafl salaah and give R20 in sadaqah. This must be discharged within 24 hours. This is only effective if you strictly fulfill the penalty. Also, impose on yourself that when you use the internet wrongly, for at least 2 days thereafter you will not access the internet or use any of the devices, even if your course work is affected.

3. Before using the internet, imagine that the Angel of Death is before you and may snatch your soul at any moment. This, exactly, is our reality i.e. our souls can be taken at any moment. Ask yourself, “Would I like to pass away while looking at this?”

4. Even if you slip a hundred times, do not lose hope and become despondent. Instead, continuously repent by crying to Allah Ta‘ala, and renew your determination to abstain from this wrong. Always turn to Allah Ta‘ala in du‘aa and beg Him to help you, as nothing can be achieved without His assistance.    

May Allah Ta‘ala make it easy for you to live a life in His total obedience, aameen.  

Answered by:

Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

ATITUDE OF GRATITUDE

 

She opens her wardrobe. Two dozen dresses of red, yellow, orange, pink and you-name-it colours are hanging in there. In another section of the closet a countless number of styles of footwear fill the space. And then another part of the closet brims with accessories! After a cursory glance, she slams the door shut. 
“Mom, I have nothing to wear for the function. I’ve been begging you to take me shopping since ages. You never listen to me. What do I do now?”

 

He is rummaging the fridge for the fourth time. Pizza, chocolate, ice-cream, fruits and juices are stuffed inside. He leaves the kitchen despondently. “There’s really nothing much to eat in here. Let’s go to the cafe and have some decent food today.”

She wakes up with the same feelings of depression and dread. Thoughts of suicide are again floating in her mind. She is married to a handsome man, with two lovely kids, a palatial home, two cars, everything most woman can only dream of! Apparently, life is perfect but there is “something” missing. It is just because she is not married to the man of her dreams.

He thinks his life sucks. He is 17. He has an iPhone, Core i7 Dell, R1, 000 monthly pocket money but according to him, his life sucks. Unable to focus on his textbook, he slams it shut and starts pacing in the room as he thinks out aloud. 
“If my friend can own a Jaguar, why can’t I? Everything sucks.”

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?

As we grow up, we get tuned to be ungrateful and not to see the blessings in our life. This happens to be nothing but the doings of materialism of course masterminded by shaytaan himself. We harness all our energy and attention towards finding out what we lack. This is really ironic because the more we focus on scarcity, the more we tend to attract it.

You tend to get what you focus on. Being ungrateful to Allah Ta’ala adversely affects our productivity as the mind – which is in a negative state – can hardly contemplate the productivity in life. It goes without saying that a mind that is always looking for shortcomings is not the best tool for a productive lifestyle – be it spiritually, physically, socially, or emotionally.

Research has shown that through our thoughts and emotions, we emit powerful signals; these signals have the ability to attract signals of the same frequency. In other words, our positive signals will attract all other positive signals and same goes true for negative signals.

Whenever we are being ungrateful, we are in the negative state of mind and allowing the self-defeating thoughts to emit all sorts of negative energy from us. These can include thoughts such as “I never seem to have enough of money, “I can never be healthy”, or “I can never find a perfect husband”. This will lead us to attract more negative energy.

Ultimately, we will end up becoming a black hole of despair and getting what we do not want. All the worries, arguments and frustration lead to more of the same. Considering all this, if we want to attract more signals of what we desire to experience, for example, peace, joy, harmony, ease, prosperity, etc., then why not choose our thoughts consciously and carefully? The more you focus on what you have in life, the more you will attract it. In other words, the more grateful you become, the more Allah Ta’ala will bless you.

Today, non-Muslim researchers have discovered these secrets in the name of “natural laws”, while these “open secrets” were given to us in the Qur’aan 1,400 years ago.

Psychologists and philosophers have painstakingly conducted research and have come up with new theories and ideas. This so-called newly discovered information was presented to us in the Qur’aan in no uncertain terms. Allah Ta’ala promises that the grateful will be given more:

“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favour]; but if you deny (are ungrateful), indeed, My punishment is severe.” [ Chapter 14, Verse 7]

Robert A. Emmons from the University of California Davis and Micheal E McCullogh 
from the University of Miami conducted a long-term research project designed to study the effects of gratitude. Here are some of their findings:

  • In an experimental comparison, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis, exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared with those who recorded hassles or neutral life events.
  • Participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to have made progress towards important personal goals over a two-month period compared with subjects in the other experimental conditions.
  • Grateful people reported higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality, optimism and lower levels of depression and stress.

This is a readymade formula for attracting more of what you want in life.

Why is gratitude such a key ingredient in a successful life? Does it make sense now?

Gratitude helps us make the shift. Consequently, we are able to attract more good, more love, more joy, more money, as well as better health and blissful relationships in your life. Gratitude is one of the easiest and most frequently used methods to alter the signals one is emitting. What we need to master is the attitude of gratitude – the attitude of appreciating everything in life especially when half the world today is deprived of the very basics of life!

 

It is well known that salaah, one of the pillars of Islam, is incomplete without Suratul Faatihah. It begins with expressing our gratitude to Allah Ta’ala for the countless blessings He has showered upon us. Have you ever noticed that almost every duaa taught by the Prophet Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam also start with the same expression of gratitude, “Alhamdulillah”? If the duaa does not start with the expression of gratitude then the dua invariably carries the element of gratitude somewhere along the line.

The day starts with the morning supplication, “Alhamdulillahilladhi ahyana…” (All praise and thanks be to the One who gave us life…). What is the significance of this? Allah Ta’ala wants you to start your day in His remembrance but more thanking Him for the life he has given you on this day. This can put us in a super charged state, attracting ample happiness and abundance in life.

Hadrat Abu Yahya Suhaib bin Sinan Radiyallaahu Anhu reported that: The Messenger of Allah Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam said,

“How amazing is the case of a believer; there is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him”.[Muslim]

It is reported that some of the Companions of the Holy Prophet Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam were grateful for the calamities that they faced and presented their gratitude to Allah Ta’ala for not letting something worse befall them. Now that is the attitude of gratitude! We cannot go wrong with this attitude especially when it is held in esteem in the sight of Allah Ta’ala!