All in the need to Please:
By Naadira Chhipa
They plan a trip to beach a month in advance, the kids are excited and stay up after fajr helping their parents pack the car with food, toys, umbrellas and chairs. They are all set to go have fun in the Sun when the phone rings, it’s their relatives from Johannesburg who are on their way to visit so the parents explain to their children that the beach trip will be slightly delayed, much to their disappointment. The visitors leave 3hours later and by then it starts to rain, ending the day for this family as the beach trip gets cancelled. All in the need to please.
She had baking orders the entire week although she had no helper she completed every order on time leaving her exhausted by the evening. She needed a break so she decided to take a well deserved nap and then the phone rings, it’s her sister in law asking if she could please bake a cake for her by the evening as she is getting visitors over and needs a treat, all the bakeries are closed. Although tired to the core she readily agrees to bake that cake and also a container of biscuits as well. All in the need to please.
He is invited to dinner by his colleagues yet he knows that the restaurant they made reservations at served alcohol as his colleagues love to indulge in a few drinks after work. He could easily refuse yet does not have the courage. He sits at a haraam restaurant, orders a salad while the others indulge in pork and wine, listens to stories filled with vulgar language and just plasters a fake smile while the rest enjoy themselves. All in the need to please.
Their daughter is engaged to be married to a wealthy socialite’s son. She wants her son’s wedding to be the talk of the town and leaves no stone unturned in organising only the best for the grand wedding. The brides family are humble and simple, they would prefer just a small nikkah yet her parents have to take a personal loan for the glamorous wedding. All in the need to please.
A young boy starting high school stands nervously amongst his group of friends as they light up a rizzler stuffed with weed. He thinks about what his parents would say if they knew he was smoking weed and he shivers in fear yet he does not show this to his ‘cool’ new friends so he takes a puff. All in the need to please.
This need to please consumes us daily as we try to please the world.
We spend so much time and effort trying to please others often at the cost of our peace of mind, our health, our happiness, our spouse and kids happiness, our beliefs, our well-being and sadly our imaan. Prioritise yourself as well as your life. Surround yourself with people that make You happy, go to places You want to be at, decide when You are ready to break the shackles of being a people pleaser and free yourself from the guilt that comes with it.
People will never be totally pleased with you no matter what you do for them and that is not a fault of yours.
Sadly we teach our children to also be people pleasers hence when faced with a difficult decision their choice becomes easy, do what pleases everyone often resulting in them surrendering to peer pressure.
Instead of focusing on pleasing the creation let us focus on pleasing our creator.
All that Glitters
You refresh your timeline on Facebook and there it is a stunning selfie of your friend and her husband on their anniversary holiday in Paris.Beautiful smiles plastered across the the screen as they pose happily infront of the Eiffel tower.You feel a tinge of jealousy as your husband is working late again and you are at home looking after your 2 energetic toddlers. Your heart burns.
You see your cousin gracefully approaching your table at your relatives wedding her hands often reach her dainty neck as she adjusts her gorgeous diamond necklace. You greet her warmly yet you feel so inferior. Your heart secretly wishes your husband could oneday afford to surprise you with such a stunning gift.
You stop at the robot and the luxury car next to you hoots and you notice your friend driving the latest BMW.You greet each other and she speeds off. Your heart is disappointed as your car just broke down this morning and you had to call your brother to help you kick start it again.
You enter a beautiful sea facing villa,the kind of houses top billing feature. Your sister in law is the perfect host at their house warming.Your heart secretly wishes this was your house and your mind betrays your husband for a minute as you feel you should have married a more affluent and wealthy man.
Remember all that glitters is not gold, silver,diamonds or platinum…
The trip to Paris was an escape from her depression as she and her husband try to save their marriage.They have been failing to conceive for many years unfortunately this may just be their last holiday together.
The necklace your cousin flaunted on her neck was never a gift it was an apology from her husbamd for the date he went on with his secretary and for the suggestive messages to other woman that his wife found on his phone. Her forgiveness was very expensive.
The car your friend cheerfully sped away in is a gift from her beloved father as he has been diagnosed with cancer and although he did not tell her as yet,he just wanted to see her happy for a few weeks before she breaks down on hearing about his illness.
The villa your brother in law bought was a thank you to his wife for always being his rock of support when he needed to build his business she used to make savouries and rotis to sell in order for him to save a capital.Now that his business is thriving he wants her to rest in luxury.
Never lose your sukoon(peace) and burn your heart with jealousy and greed over the blessings that Allah has bestowed on others as Allah has also given them battles you may not know of to fight daily. Your happiness lies in what you have and your reward lies in being grateful for what you have..
All that glitters may just be a shiny tin clip amongst the rubble…
Be genuinely happy for others and it will come back to you a million times more.. Aameen.