All in the need to Please:
By Naadira Chhipa
They plan a trip to beach a month in advance, the kids are excited and stay up after fajr helping their parents pack the car with food, toys, umbrellas and chairs. They are all set to go have fun in the Sun when the phone rings, it’s their relatives from Johannesburg who are on their way to visit so the parents explain to their children that the beach trip will be slightly delayed, much to their disappointment. The visitors leave 3hours later and by then it starts to rain, ending the day for this family as the beach trip gets cancelled. All in the need to please.
She had baking orders the entire week although she had no helper she completed every order on time leaving her exhausted by the evening. She needed a break so she decided to take a well deserved nap and then the phone rings, it’s her sister in law asking if she could please bake a cake for her by the evening as she is getting visitors over and needs a treat, all the bakeries are closed. Although tired to the core she readily agrees to bake that cake and also a container of biscuits as well. All in the need to please.
He is invited to dinner by his colleagues yet he knows that the restaurant they made reservations at served alcohol as his colleagues love to indulge in a few drinks after work. He could easily refuse yet does not have the courage. He sits at a haraam restaurant, orders a salad while the others indulge in pork and wine, listens to stories filled with vulgar language and just plasters a fake smile while the rest enjoy themselves. All in the need to please.
Their daughter is engaged to be married to a wealthy socialite’s son. She wants her son’s wedding to be the talk of the town and leaves no stone unturned in organising only the best for the grand wedding. The brides family are humble and simple, they would prefer just a small nikkah yet her parents have to take a personal loan for the glamorous wedding. All in the need to please.
A young boy starting high school stands nervously amongst his group of friends as they light up a rizzler stuffed with weed. He thinks about what his parents would say if they knew he was smoking weed and he shivers in fear yet he does not show this to his ‘cool’ new friends so he takes a puff. All in the need to please.
This need to please consumes us daily as we try to please the world.
We spend so much time and effort trying to please others often at the cost of our peace of mind, our health, our happiness, our spouse and kids happiness, our beliefs, our well-being and sadly our imaan. Prioritise yourself as well as your life. Surround yourself with people that make You happy, go to places You want to be at, decide when You are ready to break the shackles of being a people pleaser and free yourself from the guilt that comes with it.
People will never be totally pleased with you no matter what you do for them and that is not a fault of yours.
Sadly we teach our children to also be people pleasers hence when faced with a difficult decision their choice becomes easy, do what pleases everyone often resulting in them surrendering to peer pressure.
Instead of focusing on pleasing the creation let us focus on pleasing our creator.